"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit." (Psalm 32:1-2)
King David. A man after God's own heart. A man. A great leader and worshipper of the Lord, but still a man. Just a man. Battling sin.
I hope you have kept up with our readings through God's Word as we watch the story of David's life unfold. This is some of the best stuff until we get to the life of Christ. I have loved reading through the psalms, too! Nothing speaks to my heart quite like them, and they make the most beautiful expression of prayer that I know. Anything I need to pray, I find that it's already there in the psalms, mostly penned by David's hand himself.
Last week we came to the story of David and Bathsheba. It was our first introduction to the "human" side of David where we witnessed him battle with his own flesh. Up until now, we have only seen him as a man of honor and integrity, continually seeking the Lord's direction and obeying wholeheartedly, passionately worshipping his God. But last week we watched his passions lead him into sin. He faced a different kind of battle than all the peoples he had fought and conquered. He faced "
every man's battle," and he lost.
Now, as women, we tend to become very judgemental of King David at this point, and he can lose his credibility in our eyes. But hold on there, sister. I want to take this devotion from a very different point of view. We're not going to look at David's sin. We're going to look at Bathsheba's mistake.
A mistake from which I hope we will learn. A mistake I pray we will choose not to make ourselves.
"One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful...." (2 Sam. 11:2)
Now if you know the story, you know that King David's whole army had gone off to battle (as all good kings do in the spring), but David had chosen to stay in Jerusalem and not go off to war with his men for some reason. So all the fighting men in Jerusalem were gone. That means Bathsheba's husband was off at war, too.
Re-read this part:
"From the roof he saw a woman bathing." Now we can assume that David's palace was quite grand and tall. Surely his balcony overlooked all of Jerusalem from above. And surely Bathsheba knew this.
I want to be careful not to assume anything on her part, and I surely don't want to falsely accuse her of intentionally seducing the King. But intentional or not, she did.
And we as women need to take heed and learn.
Whether intential or not, ladies, we as women can make "every man's battle" much harder than need be. We must quit pointing the accusing finger at them and check ourselves first. I would love to require (can I do that?) every woman to read
For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. You will so much better understand the battle every man faces, and you will be equipped to be considerate enough of the men around you not to make that battle any harder than it already is.
Not only do we ourselves need to take note, but many of us are raising girls in a not-so-modest world, and many of us have influence over young women who need guidance in this area. And we ALL live in a country where you can't walk into the mall, let alone go through your mail, without having your eyes accosted by half-naked, voluptious women. For those of us raising sons in this culture, our work is certainly cut out for us!
So what is the lesson we women can learn from Bathsheba's mistake? Wisdom and cautious modesty. Surely she knew that the King was likely to have a view of her choice of bathing spots. Did she miss the attention of her husband and so decide to make herself feel desired again by bathing in David's view? Did she think it was just a harmless, little treat for his eyes? Or did she have hopes that he would send for her? We really don't know. But what we also don't find in Scripture is Bathsheba resisting David's advance. Yes, he was the King, but a godly woman full of wisdom would have urged God's anointed not to do such a thing and bring reproach from the Lord upon himself.
What makes all of this so much worse is that she was a married woman. And David knew it. Did you notice what the servant said to David when he sent to inquire about Bathsheba?
"The man said, 'Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?'” (2 Sam. 11:3; emphasis mine) It's as if God was giving David the opportunity to resist the seduction that Satan had thrown in his path. But David's flesh got the best of him, and he fell.
Bathsheba seemed to enjoy the attention, too. Girls, this is serious stuff. It is never o.k. for us to enjoy the attention of any man except our husband's. Seduction is the hallmark of the Enemy. Satan seduced Adam and Eve in the garden with gaining the knowledge of good and evil, feeding their appetites with delicious, sinful fruit. He has been seducing mankind ever since.
If you are married, your body is for your man only. We walk a fine line between making ourselves attractive to our husbands without making ourselves attractive to other men. Of course, for some of us, pregnancy leaves us with bodies that solve that problem! Ha! But if you're blessed to have a body that returns back to normal, keep your sexy clothes to times when only your hubby gets to enjoy the view. And be sure to show up for church when we get to the book of Song of Solomon. It will be better than any marriage workshop we could have, I'm sure!
If you are not married, your body belongs to God alone. Every believer's body belongs to God, but yours has not been given yet by God to a man to be enjoyed. Read what God has to say about our bodies in Paul's letter to the Corinthians:
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Cor. 6:18-20; emphasis mine) You belong to God alone. So honor Him. His commands are for your protection.
These truths from God's Word have been lost in our culture. Anything goes. And parents are sadly turning a blind eye to it. So are friends, co-workers, and sometimes even spouses.
"They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more." (Eph. 4:18-19; emphasis mine) Girlfriends, you can start by turning off the television! Even kids shows these days are causing them to "lose sensitivity" to sexual impropriety. Even the latest "G-rated" movie about a bunny hinted at Hugh Heffner and playboy bunnies! Good grief! The only reason I protected my children's hearts from that subtle, slippery slope was because I check it out at
plugged in movie reviews (Focus on the Family). Then I could make the decision not to take my children to see it. Hollywood seduces us to think these things are funny. Dear one, sin is anything but funny.
May I make a suggestion? Fall down on your knees and pray that God will prevent you from losing sensitivity to sexual purity. And if you already have, then ask God to restore that sensitivity within you. It is a constant battle in this world, and Paul knew it. We must seek the power of God to cleanse our hearts and restore our purity by His Spirit within us.
So how does a godly woman look? What does biblical womanhood look like? You might be surprised just how much God has to say about the subject.
"...women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control." (1 Tim. 2:9-15) (now you know why I teach women, not men--although they are always welcome to join us...but I do not assume to be their teacher--that is a man's role; I seek, rather, to learn from them)
Let's focus on the words Paul used to describe biblical womanhood:
- respectable apparel
- modesty
- self-control
- good deeds
- quietness
- full submission
- quiet among men (unless asked to contribute by them, of course, but men lead us spiritually--and if you do not have a husband to be your spiritual leader, then you look to your father, your pastor, or another respected brother in Christ to teach and lead you)
- childbearing
- faith
- love
- holiness with self-control
Did you get all that? That's a pretty tall order, isn't it? But that is what we are to be as women of God. And we must ask God in His grace, mercy and goodness to work those traits into us, because they do not come naturally. Only the Spirit of God within us can work those beautiful fruits in us.
Here is more instruction from God's Word--very important instructions to us as women!
"
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." (Titus 2:3-5)
Notice there are two sets of instructions from Paul to his student Titus: one for older women and one for younger women. But who is supposed to teach and train the younger women? The older women! And this is where the huge gap exists in our biblical womanhood today, because we are in a great shortage of "Titus 2" women training the young women of our day.
Unfortunately, the older women of our day came through the "women's lib" era and have a very different mindset than what Paul describes here. A true Titus 2 woman who imparts wisdom to young moms and single women of how to be beautiful biblically is a rare treasure these days. If you find one, cling to her as your mentor and soak up every wise word from her lips! I am blessed to have one of these precious women living at the end of my street. I prayed for God to send one into my life, and He graciously answered that prayer. He will do the same for you, my friend. I am also blessed to have several "Titus 2 women-in-the-making" among my homeschool mom friends. I pray that God will raise up many at LifeBridge Church so that we can fulfill our God-given role to the next generation--our daughters and their husbands and children.
Now let's go back and look at those instructions, noting every quality God desires.
Older women:
- reverent
- not slanderers (how many women have you heard slander a man lately? ...and too many young men these days are rising up to be exactly what they hear women declaring them to be...and it's not an encouraging sight for young women seeking a man they can follow in life and faith)
- not addicted to much wine
- teach what is good
- train the younger women
- all of the younger women's instructions (because you must possess them before you can impart them)
Younger women:
- love your husband
- love your children
- self-controlled
- pure
- busy at home
- kind
- subject to your husband
Take note of the reason to be subject to your husband: "so no one will malign the Word of God." Wow--that's quite a responsibility we have as wives!
To really grasp the full meaning of God's teaching in this all-important passage to women, we need to read it in the King Jame's Version. The wording of the KJV gives us more insight:
"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."
I had a wonderful book recommended to be by some sisters in Christ a few years ago, and it was entirely written around this verse. I will forever recommend it to other women, because it focuses on true biblical womanhood:
Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. Her website has excerpts that have saved marriages!
Let me share a glimpse of what I learned. Let's look at those key words again in the KJV.
sober
love their husbands
love their children
discreet
chaste
keepers at home
good
obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed
What do these words mean?
1) sober--in addition to refraining from drunkenness, this also means a reality check of the following (this is a definition from Merriam-Webster's dictionary):
- marked by sedate or gravely or earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor
- marked by temperance, moderation, or seriousness
- showing no excessive or extreme qualities of fancy, emotion, or prejudice
As Nicole C. Mullens put it, "No divas allowed" at her concerts!
2) love their husbands (read 1 Corinthians 13 for how to love God's way)
3) love their children (ditto #2, plus read
Hints on Child Training for how to love your children God's way; go ahead and purchase
The Mission of Motherhood, too, because it's excellent--one of my favorites!)
4) discreet--exactly what Bathsheba was NOT; we must be discreet with our words, too, dear sisters; here is the dictionary definition:
Check your motives in your dress and your behavior. Are they done to get others to notice you? God tells us to be discreet. That means not attracting attention to ourselves. Our goal is to attract attention to God.
5) chaste--Bathsheba failed at this one, too.
- innocent of unlawful sexual intercourse
- pure in thought and act : modest
- severely simple in design or execution : austere
- clean, spotless
6) keepers at home--this is where homes are falling apart left and right in our world today. Women have not been keepers at home since they broke throught the "glass ceiling" and discovered they could make it in a man's world, determining that a double-income household could give their families the American Dream. Don't you know the Enemy is having a hay-day over this deception. I've been so proud, however, of many women waking up to the joy and challenge of the biggest job ever: raising godly offspring to lead the next generation to be men and women after God's heart! We are called to make disciples right in our own homes! (again, I recommend
The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson)
7) good--(dictionary)
virtuous,
right,
commendable (see Proverbs 31 for the best example of this--words straight from a mother's heart to her son, the king)
8) obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blasphemed--o.k., ladies--this topic of submission is highly unpopular in our world today, and the word is even quite often omitted from wedding vows now. But according to this verse, there are some serious consequences to us not taking submission to our husbands seriously. And I do mean SERIOUS. According to the God-inspired words of Paul here, when we are disobedient to our husbands, we can cause the word of God to be blasphemed (maligned--NIV; reviled--ESV). Do you know what the bible has to say about blaspheming God?
- "Whoever blasphemes the name of the LORD shall surely be put to death. All the congregation shall stone him. The sojourner as well as the native, when he blasphemes the Name, shall be put to death." (Lev. 24:16)
"but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin" (Mark 3:29)- "And everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but the one who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven." (Luke 12:10)
- "And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed." (2 Peter 2:2)
- "But these people blaspheme all that they do not understand, and they are destroyed by all that they, like unreasoning animals, understand instinctively." (Jude 1:10)
Dear sisters in Christ, let us not, out of our own pride and selfishness, lead a watching world into the sin of blaspheming the precious Word of God! Our husbands are not perfect, but neither are we! Read
Created to Be His Help Meet, and you will gain so much wisdom and insight into what God is saying in Titus 2:5. When a watching world sees our submission to our husbands, they have reason to praise God rather than blaspheme His name.
I know I have recommended a lot of books here, but I must recommend a few more:
A Woman After God's Own Heart and
Beautiful in God's Eyes, both by
Elizabeth George. These were the first two books I read on biblical womanhood, and they would be a great starting point for anyone seeking to do the same.
If you are single, I highly recommend you read
Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. He also wrote
I Kissed Dating Goodbye. This new book, however, focuses on how to have a godly courtship when you find the person you want to consider marrying (parents of teenagers, take note as well!). Courtship to pursue marriage is very different than dating around for fun and pleasure. It protects both of your hearts, as well as your purity. You may have seen the book his twin younger brothers wrote, called
Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations. Now they lead conferences around the country:
The Rebelution. Incidentally, their parents used
Hints on Child Training for wisdom in raising their children to live godly lives and influence their generation for God's purposes and God's glory. And that is what they are doing!
So what we will do on our watch, ladies?
It's swimsuit season. What are you and your daughters saying to a watching world? Are you influencing those around you for your glory, or for God's?
Bathsheba's carelessness led King David into temptation and sin. The consequences were quite serious for their son born due to their adultery--death, and also to David's entire family line.
"Now therefore the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife." (2 Samuel 12:10) We began reading about those consequences this week with Absalom and Tamar. Much more sin and shame are still to come in this anointed family line. All because a woman failed to be "discreet and chaste, a keeper at home." Wow.
Thank God for His goodness and mercy that does not leave us without hope! He made a way for us to be forgiven!
"But God will not take away life, and he devises means so that the banished one will not remain an outcast." (2 Sam. 14:14b)
David poured out his heart in repentance before God in Psalm 51. I read this psalm as a prayer of confession practically every day. Sometimes I use Romans 7 instead. Whether Paul's words or David's words, we find the cries of our own hearts right there on the pages of Scripture. They were human just as we are. We can learn from their struggles with sin.
And we can also rejoice with them in their and our victory over sin through the redeeming blood of our Savior Jesus! Let's do that now with David as he praises God with the words of Psalm 103:
Psalm 103
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children’s children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The LORD has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Bless the LORD, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
Bless the LORD, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the LORD, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the LORD, O my soul!
Now, go make yourself beautiful in God's sight!
"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening." (1 Peter 3:4-6)
